America

I don’t know anything about men because I’m not a man, but I do know a lot about songs, because I listen to them. These are the songs that men like

  • “Ventura Highway” (men’s favorite lyric: alligator lizards in the air)
  • “Roundabout” (men’s choice: your silhouette will charge the view)
  • “Roxanne” (men’s pick: I won’t share you with another boy)
  • “Creep” (man’s word: feather)
  • “Hot in Herre” (best line for men to sing: I gotta friend with a pole in the basement, what?)
  • “My City Was Gone” (man’s #1 choice: Rush Limbaugh)
  • “Paranoid” (male lyric: Oh yeah)
  • “Orion” (honorable mention: RIAA)

Dream: I’m sitting on a boulder with Rock Hudson and we’re eating tomato sandwiches. I intend to call him Boulder Hudson, before I wake up.

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