Proust Questionnaire

Your favorite virtue     Long term memory
Your favorite qualities in a man.      He is tired and hopeless and goes to the mall
Your favorite qualities in a woman.      I don’t know any women
Your chief characteristic      Unable to open packages of food that I buy at the grocery store
What you appreciate the most in your friends      They stopped asking me when I will have more children
Your main fault       I don’t post my missed connections in time
Your favourite occupation.       Fireman
Your idea of happiness       Fresh baguettes
Your idea of misery.       old baguettes
If not yourself, who would you be?       “Before departing for Samoa, Margaret Mead had a short affair with the linguist Edward Sapir”
Where would you like to live?       I dream of getting trapped in a parking garage every night
Your favourite colour and flower.       Yellow sorrel
The flower that I like.       Is this a trick
My favorite bird.        The potato bird
Your favorite prose authors.        Marcel Proust
Your favorite poets.        I love poetes
Your favorite heroes in fiction.        It’s too soon to decide
Your favorite heroines in fiction.        Friday
Your favorite painters and composers.        My favorite composer is the deaf one with the big hair      and the tall one with the big hands. Sorry ladies
Your favorite painters.        I can’t elieve this
Your heroes in real life.        My kids are my heroes in real life
Your favorite heroines in real life.        I have two daughters at my house
What characters in history do you most dislike.        Hitler, and all those nazis. Oh my god
Your heroines in World history        Hypatia
Your favorite food and drink.        There is so much food at my house. Olives
Your favorite names.        People keep calling me Jennifer against my wishes
What I hate the most.        Staying home from the mall
World history characters I hate the most        I can’t get the Fedex guy to just leave packages at the door. He rings to say hi but I’m not into this. His name is Josh
The military event I admire the most       Napoleon’s Russian Campaign by Phillipe-Paul de Ségur
The reform I admire the most       This has to be the Protestant Reformation
The natural talent I’d like to be gifted with       A trace of charisma
How I wish to die        Eating at Olive Garden with my friends
What is your present state of mind.        Not very good, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I don’t like avocados anymore
For what fault have you most toleration?        Sleep in a pile of yogurt containers I don’t care
Your favorite motto.        You must change your life

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